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I, Dr. Mario: Revisiting the Operating Room


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Let's reconceptualize Dr. Mario into a realistic, medical simulation game, where Dr. Mario is a real, fat Italion doctor from New York City, who falls into an open incision and comes out in the... uh... inside a dude. He's immediatly set upon by viruses, that he throws pills at in an unsettlingly realistic treatment of violence and death. He wanders through this alien world, wondering if he's gone out of his mind or died and gone to hell, and is attacked on all sides by monsterous viruses.

The viruses would be something akin to the alien from the movie Alien, who are attempting to kill Dr. Mario's patient because his asexual race can only procreate by implanting their parasitic eggs into unsuspecting host bodies, who slowly waste away under the ministrations of the prenatal viruses. There'd be a disturbing silhouette cut-away rape scene.

It would be even better if they could work in an eerie, string-quartet version of the "game over" theme during the cut-away.

Nurse Luigi would die at some point, and Dr. Mario would go find a Toadstool drug dealer who'd get him hooked on "Pills," a super powerful amphetamine, which Mario uses to plow through the virus' subjects in a violent haze, impervious to pain.

At one point, Mario would use his cigarette lighter to ignite an ultra-flamable "fire flower," a native species of the Mushroom Kingdom, and throw it at the virus' castle.

I'd call it "I, Dr. Mario" and the box art would be the title in gothic lettering, with a photo-realistic image of Dr. Mario, filthy, sweating, bleeding, wounded, stubbly and half-insane, staring horrified into an open wound, with bottles of pills and mushroom stems strewn about the floor of his run-down, Brooklyn apartment.

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Have you just stolen this Idea from the Dark Mario game that was being made by some developers or it may have been on this very site. The idea that Mario goes to the "MUSHROOM KINGDON" after getting whacked out on drugs and that mario IS just a fat plumber from new york but in his drug induced madness he thinks hes a super hero.

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Have you just stolen this Idea from the Dark Mario game that was being made by some developers or it may have been on this very site. The idea that Mario goes to the "MUSHROOM KINGDON" after getting whacked out on drugs and that mario IS just a fat plumber from new york but in his drug induced madness he thinks hes a super hero.

...am I to take this seriously? Or are you just new?

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