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sephfire

Zero Punctuation (Hilarious) Game Reviews

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uhh, his review is perfect in that he said something along the lines of:

if you like smash before, you'll like it now.

if you haven't heard of smash/never liked it, this isn't really going to change your opinion.

What more can you say to that? The people interested in the game already own it, and the people uninterested don't really care what you have to say.

QFT & QFE

Seriously.

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I'm not going to spat out hate for Yahtzee, I love him too much. I do love that game though, but I can see where he's coming from.

He's right on the unlocking characters thing.

He's right on the single player being way too much of the same levels.

And my hatred for Nintendo is par with his on them not bringing over mother 3 (those cocksuckers, They keep the good games for themselves...)

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I don't particularly mind the review. I had however, been looking forward to him reviewing brawl because oddly enough I like hearing games I enjoy get hit by a scathing overly sarcastic/witty review. I'm disapointed because he put out scathing without really much wit/sarcasm, or even reason beyound "I hate this sort of game".

At the same time I realize it's not his fault cause it's just not his sort of game to play, most of the stuff he hates about it are (as he admitted himself) are the things most fans of the game love about it.

So mostly a "meh" review as he gets it out of his way so the fans will stop harassing him.

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if you like smash before, you'll like it now.

I guess I'm in the odd position of being someone who liked the series before but has unexpectedly grown bored with Brawl very quickly. Whereas we used to do all-day Melee-fests, with Brawl I often find myself doing just a few rounds, and then listlessly dragging my cursor across the character select screen thinking "Who do I want to play as now? Ehhhhh... nobody, really."

It might help if we turn off Final Smashes. We've all agreed that with each passing round they are inching closer and closer to being permanently disabled. Likewise, more and more of the stages are getting turned off in the stage select, almost always by unanimous agreement...

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Eh, this isn't up to his usual quality of reviews.

Humorwise, it was "eh". No clever quips, and one semi-funny running gag with Gametraders Robina.

Serious criticism-wise, he didn't really have many validated points with which to unload his hatred against. Was he serious when he groaned about hidden characters in the roster? Replay value is a central mechanic to any game, and there's nothing more enticing than hidden characters.

Furthermore, he played it with the completely wrong crowd. They all had never played a Smash game before? How could they properly appreciate the game, when they had no nostalgia nor past love for the characters and settings? That's SSB's prime point of interest! That's like me going to the Superbowl, and I've never played a game of football in my life! What good is that?

He just created a pit of negativity between him and the other guys at Guy's house. It probably went something like this between the four of them.

"Oh bloody hell, look at all the kiddy s**t in this game. Where's that blue wanker, Sonic! I want to beat his speedy arse with that whimsical plumber! Wait, why the f*** am I flying away?! This game is bollucks!"

With no proper way to enjoy the characters, stages, or fighting mechanics, none of them had fun, so none of them could honestly recommend the game. Games like these depend of the fun they let you and your friends have together. The memories you create between the 2, 3, 4, or more of you. Yatzee's particular environment didn't promote any of this. Its a major flaw. I'm not saying its his fault, or that he should have found a Nintendo fanboy's house and played it there. I'm just saying I can understand where he's getting all the petty negativity.

On the other hand, his annoyance with the Subspace Emissary is more spot on. Still, I think its far more enjoyable then he gives it credit for.

This was probably the only review he did that left me unsatisfied, and even a little angry. Maybe I'm one of those fanboys who he referred to?

*Pushes up glasses from the tip of his nose*

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No, he's right on some points especially with the audience. It's either the hardcore crowd that knows the material or the idiots who jumps in for the shits and giggles who never played half the games referenced.

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Humorwise, it was "eh". No clever quips, and one semi-funny running gag with Gametraders Robina.

This gag made me laugh out loud IRL. Awesome.

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No, he's right on some points especially with the audience. It's either the hardcore crowd that knows the material or the idiots who jumps in for the shits and giggles who never played half the games referenced.

Shall we post this image again? :P

which.png

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Add a third cloud for "this game is eating shit waffles".

His review/rant was kind of... meh...... "You made me waste time playing and reviewing this game and now I'm bitter and I'm wasted your time by making you watch this not-very-funny review, and I know that if you love the game and have already played it then this isn't going to change your opinion one bit and so the only bit of new information you're going to get out of this review is Gametraders Robina."

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A bunch of stuff

I'm going to have to politely disagree with this point. I feel that playing the actual games in which these characters star is what gives you the sense of nostalgia and all that. I've not played a SSB until this one, and I enjoyed it, only because I was already familiar with most of the characters and their backstories... You can't get all of the characters' histories from a game like this, and I feel the true nostalgia and appreciation lies with the games featuring these characters in their own worlds.

But that may just be a point where we see things differently

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I don't hate the review; its not his best, and is certainly a hard act to follow after his awesome condemned review. However, I would have to agree that he really didn't play it, dare i say... correctly. SSB on all platforms has been a party-oriented, multi-player game. Playing it on single player is probably one of the least fun games I've played. At least in the past versions; it steps it up in this iteration though. And going over to a friend's house who doesn't seem to enjoy that kind of thing anyway is basically shooting yourself in your uninterested foot.

On the other hand, I can very honestly say that I am by no means privy to Nintendo games of old, being as the Wii is the first Nintendo console I've owned and I really can't get into either Zelda or Metroid Prime. That being said, I've always loved the SSB games and have had some of the best multi-player experiences with a group of friends that enjoy SSB as much as I do. I don't go into it for the nostalgia, and I still enjoy it quite a bit. The simple, yet deep 'two button' scheme SSB uses makes the game so accessible, yet still so fun after such a long time.

Basically, I think if he would have gone into it not knowing what to think, instead of knowing he would hate it he would have given it a higher recommendation. It kinda seems like he's one of those guys who condemns his favorite band after it sells half a million albums for "selling out" and becoming popular.

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Reason why this review made me ROFL: Seeing a fellow hater(SSB hater...Well more like non-understander of why people enjoy this game(s) so much) hate on shit people like and their reaction to said hate makes me lol :)

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I would've been surprised if he didn't bash SSBB actually, he just seems like the type to do so haha. In the meantime, I'll wait for the Australian release of the game on the.....oh wait, AUSTRALIA HASN'T GOT A FUCKING RELEASE DATE FOR THE DAMN GAME YET (other than a vague "June 2008" that is). Though I'd guess it'd be after the European June 27 date. I'm surprised I haven't Freeloader'd the bitch yet.

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yeah, i think one of the reasons why the humor just didn't connect like usual would be that he just wasn't into it.

like if he has a drive to destroy a game because he hates it the jokes will be more effective.

he didn't hate it nor did he love it, he just didn't care about that game...

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Furthermore, he played it with the completely wrong crowd. They all had never played a Smash game before? How could they properly appreciate the game, when they had no nostalgia nor past love for the characters and settings? That's SSB's prime point of interest! That's like me going to the Superbowl, and I've never played a game of football in my life! What good is that?

I personally think his criticism of the game was dead on, particularly when he complained about the gameplay. I'm convinced to this day that people only care about playing Smash Bros. because they want to live out a fanboy wet dream to see Mario beat down Link and Sonic at the same time. The gameplay isn't that deep, or entertaining for me, and I have trouble getting past that to enjoy the gimmick of characters that should never meet, fight each other.

That out of the way, I find your comment here puzzling. Not being able to properly enjoy SSBB because they hadn't played a Smash game before? If anything, the nostalgia would come from having played the Mario, Zelda, Sonic, etc. games of yore, not playing a prior Smash game. If the game required you to have nostalgic feelings about prior Smash games to enjoy it then something is very wrong with it.

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I honestly think that although Brawl might be easier to pick up than Melee, it's still a LOT harder to pick up than the original SSB64. I can see how someone who's never grown up with SSB64 would dislike Brawl - heck, I didn't ENJOY playing Brawl for the first couple hours, but after I finally got the hang of it and stopped missing 90% of my attacks, it was pretty fun.

Most "party games" are easy to just pick up and play for complete newbs. While SSB64 might fall into this category of games that can be picked up with no prior experience, I think Melee and Brawl certainly do not. To enjoy Brawl, you need at least SOME prior Smash Bros. experience - which means it might be inaccurate to call it a "party game". 4 experienced Goldeneye players can have a ton of fun playing multiplayer Goldeneye together, but does that make it a party game??

One thing that Brawl, and Smash Bros. in general certainly is NOT is a button-mashing fighter - which is why I particularly disagree with his view of the game. Yeah, I'm being a whiner and looking waaaay too deep into this but... it's not a button-mashing fighter!!! :puppyeyes: Which may be exactly WHY it's tough to pick up for complete newbies, and exactly WHY you need to be one of "them" to truly enjoy it. I'd argue that it only takes a few days to "become" one of "them" (either a few multiplayer outings, or a couple days of owning the game), but... whatever, if Yahtzee doesn't want to give some amazing games a chance, that's his problem. Although, if he doesn't have any Smash-playing friends or relatives, I can't blame him.

Nostalgia?? Bah- the gameplay has nothing to do with nostalgia or retro Nintendo characters... at least for me.

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Gametraders Robina!!

My girlfriend and I were like "WTF?!" when that was mentioned in the video.

Why, you ask?

Because we live right down the bloody road from Robina where we do our groceries (and I insist on checking every game shop for bargains). That being said, Gametraders is a rip-off >_> but they're the only place here that'll import games.

It was just freaky to here a place that we go to regularly get mentioned in something in(ternet)famous.

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I personally think his criticism of the game was dead on, particularly when he complained about the gameplay. I'm convinced to this day that people only care about playing Smash Bros. because they want to live out a fanboy wet dream to see Mario beat down Link and Sonic at the same time. The gameplay isn't that deep, or entertaining for me, and I have trouble getting past that to enjoy the gimmick of characters that should never meet, fight each other.

That out of the way, I find your comment here puzzling. Not being able to properly enjoy SSBB because they hadn't played a Smash game before? If anything, the nostalgia would come from having played the Mario, Zelda, Sonic, etc. games of yore, not playing a prior Smash game. If the game required you to have nostalgic feelings about prior Smash games to enjoy it then something is very wrong with it.

Vivi, perhaps this can clear up what I was trying to say:

I honestly think that although Brawl might be easier to pick up than Melee, it's still a LOT harder to pick up than the original SSB64. I can see how someone who's never grown up with SSB64 would dislike Brawl - heck, I didn't ENJOY playing Brawl for the first couple hours, but after I finally got the hang of it and stopped missing 90% of my attacks, it was pretty fun.

Most "party games" are easy to just pick up and play for complete newbs. While SSB64 might fall into this category of games that can be picked up with no prior experience, I think Melee and Brawl certainly do not. To enjoy Brawl, you need at least SOME prior Smash Bros. experience - which means it might be inaccurate to call it a "party game". 4 experienced Goldeneye players can have a ton of fun playing multiplayer Goldeneye together, but does that make it a party game??

One thing that Brawl, and Smash Bros. in general certainly is NOT is a button-mashing fighter - which is why I particularly disagree with his view of the game. Yeah, I'm being a whiner and looking waaaay too deep into this but... it's not a button-mashing fighter!!! :puppyeyes: Which may be exactly WHY it's tough to pick up for complete newbies, and exactly WHY you need to be one of "them" to truly enjoy it. I'd argue that it only takes a few days to "become" one of "them" (either a few multiplayer outings, or a couple days of owning the game), but... whatever, if Yahtzee doesn't want to give some amazing games a chance, that's his problem. Although, if he doesn't have any Smash-playing friends or relatives, I can't blame him.

I'm quite relieved to see that one poster (friendlyHunter) understands where I'm coming from.

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Most "party games" are easy to just pick up and play for complete newbs. While SSB64 might fall into this category of games that can be picked up with no prior experience, I think Melee and Brawl certainly do not.

Very true. Super Smash Bros. Brawl definitely requires more experience than the previous two, even for me and I play the older versions religously.

Brawl is more strategy-type which kills the idea of "button-mashers"

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My girlfriend and I were like "WTF?!" when that was mentioned in the video.

Why, you ask?

Because we live right down the bloody road from Robina where we do our groceries (and I insist on checking every game shop for bargains). That being said, Gametraders is a rip-off >_> but they're the only place here that'll import games.

It was just freaky to here a place that we go to regularly get mentioned in something in(ternet)famous.

You should invite Yahtzee to the next Aussie OCR meetup. :D

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